The Gilmore Project

Lessons learned from The Gilmore Girls.


Lorelai: [after leaving Emily and Richard’s house] Do I look shorter?  ‘Cause I feel shorter.

Rory: Hey, how about I buy you a cup of coffee?

Lorelai: Oh yeah.  You drive though, okay?  ‘Cause I don’t think my feet will reach the pedals.


Lorelai: [Michel is ignoring the phone] Michel, the phone.

Michel: Mmm-hmm.  It rings.

Lorelai: Can you answer it?

Michel: No, people are particularly stupid today.  I can’t talk to any more of them.

Lorelai: You know who’s really nice to talk to?  The people at the unemployment agency.


Lorelai: Please, Luke.  Please, please, please!

Luke: How many cups have you had this morning?

Lorelai: None.

Luke: Plus?

Lorelai: Five, but yours is better.


Rory: You’re happy.

Lorelai: Yeah.

Rory: Did you do something slutty?

Lorelai: I’m not that happy.


Lorelai: Does he have a motorcycle?  ‘Cause if you’re gonna throw your life away he’d better have a motorcycle!


Mrs. Kim: How was school?  Any of the girls get pregnant, drop out?

Lane: Not that we know of.

Rory: Oh come to think of it JoAnna Pozner was glowing a little.

Mrs. Kim: What?

Lane: Nothing mama.  She’s just kidding.

Mrs. Kim: Boys don’t like funny girls.

Rory: Noted.


Lorelai: That’s the last time I buy something just because it’s furry.


Lorelai: Hey, what do you think of Luke?

Rory: What do you mean?

Lorelai: I mean, do you think he’s cute?

Rory: On, no.  No way.

Lorelai: No way what?

Rory: You cannot date Luke.

Lorelai: I said nothing about dating Luke.

Rory: If you date him, you’ll break up, and we’ll never be able to eat there again.

Lorelai: I repeat, I said nothing about dating Luke.

Rory: Date Al from Pancake World.  His food stinks.

Lorelai: I cannot believe what I’m hearing.  Al’s food does not stink.  Al stinks.


Rory: [about the Chilton students]  They keep calling me “Mary.”

Lorelai: You’re kidding me.  Wow, I cannot believe they still say that!

Rory: What?

Lorelai: Mary, like Virgin Mary.  It means they think you look like a goody-goody.

Rory:  You’re kidding.

Lorelai: No.

Rory: Well, what would they have called me if they thought I looked like a slut?

Lorelai: Well, they might have added a “Magdalene” to it.


Michel: [explained to Lorelai that he once got attacked by swans] No one forgets that.

Lorelai: Oh, no, not being attacked by a band of swans.  Was it an all-boy band?  Kind of a scary, feather, ‘NSync fiasco?


Lorelai: What’s with the hat?

Rory: Grandma gave it to me.

Lorelai: Aw, now that’s just mean.


Lorelai: A crazy evil spirit obsessed with bra-size took over my body.


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