Lorelai: [after leaving Emily and Richard’s house] Do I look shorter? ‘Cause I feel shorter.
Rory: Hey, how about I buy you a cup of coffee?
Lorelai: Oh yeah. You drive though, okay? ‘Cause I don’t think my feet will reach the pedals.
Lorelai: [Michel is ignoring the phone] Michel, the phone.
Michel: Mmm-hmm. It rings.
Lorelai: Can you answer it?
Michel: No, people are particularly stupid today. I can’t talk to any more of them.
Lorelai: You know who’s really nice to talk to? The people at the unemployment agency.
Lorelai: Please, Luke. Please, please, please!
Luke: How many cups have you had this morning?
Lorelai: Five, but yours is better.
Rory: You’re happy.
Rory: Did you do something slutty?
Lorelai: I’m not that happy.
Lorelai: Does he have a motorcycle? ‘Cause if you’re gonna throw your life away he’d better have a motorcycle!
Mrs. Kim: How was school? Any of the girls get pregnant, drop out?
Lane: Not that we know of.
Rory: Oh come to think of it JoAnna Pozner was glowing a little.
Mrs. Kim: What?
Lane: Nothing mama. She’s just kidding.
Mrs. Kim: Boys don’t like funny girls.
Lorelai: That’s the last time I buy something just because it’s furry.
Lorelai: Hey, what do you think of Luke?
Rory: What do you mean?
Lorelai: I mean, do you think he’s cute?
Rory: On, no. No way.
Lorelai: No way what?
Rory: You cannot date Luke.
Lorelai: I said nothing about dating Luke.
Rory: If you date him, you’ll break up, and we’ll never be able to eat there again.
Lorelai: I repeat, I said nothing about dating Luke.
Rory: Date Al from Pancake World. His food stinks.
Lorelai: I cannot believe what I’m hearing. Al’s food does not stink. Al stinks.
Rory: [about the Chilton students] They keep calling me “Mary.”
Lorelai: You’re kidding me. Wow, I cannot believe they still say that!
Lorelai: Mary, like Virgin Mary. It means they think you look like a goody-goody.
Rory: You’re kidding.
Rory: Well, what would they have called me if they thought I looked like a slut?
Lorelai: Well, they might have added a “Magdalene” to it.
Michel: [explained to Lorelai that he once got attacked by swans] No one forgets that.
Lorelai: Oh, no, not being attacked by a band of swans. Was it an all-boy band? Kind of a scary, feather, ‘NSync fiasco?
Lorelai: What’s with the hat?
Rory: Grandma gave it to me.
Lorelai: Aw, now that’s just mean.
Lorelai: A crazy evil spirit obsessed with bra-size took over my body.